Welcome to Mooseport

by Bill Henry on Feb.20, 2004, under Bill Henry's Movie Reviews

Welcome to Mooseport

Directed by Donald Petrie

Opening nationwide 2/20/2004

2 *

Having never watched Ray Romanoâ€™s show Everybody Loves Raymond, I do not know if his television work is of the same level as his mediocre film starring debut in Welcome to Mooseport, but I also do not care.

The star vehicle for the big television star is a movie that is the sort of easily defined one sentence high concept formula Hollywood is so fond of. Here goes: A former president of the United States moves to a small town in Maine and runs for mayorâ€¦ and hilarity ensues. OK, I am lying about that last part. But it hardly seems worth hiring Gene Hackman for hackwork like this (and speaking of mediocrity, I seem to be channeling Gene Shalit).

The new guy in Mooseport is recently retired former President Monroe â€œEagleâ€ Cole (Hackman). As the helpful newscaster/narrator informs us, the former president is a popular Democrat who was the first chief executive to get a divorce in office (gee, wonder how that will work into the plot) and is now retired to his vacation home in Mooseport, Maine. Although not initially interested in being much of a fixture, Hackman agrees to run for mayor after the town council approaches him to run unopposed as a replacement for the longtime, but recently deceased mayor. But the fly in the suntan lotion is local hardware store owner and town plumber Handy Harrison (Romano) who had been convinced by the town registrar to run in the absence of any other candidates. Although both Romano and Hackman seem willing to back out, the former president is concerned about hurting his earning power for lectures and book deals while the plumber resents the ex-prez inviting his girlfriend (Maura Tierney) on a date. The remainder of the movie is a lame back and forth of the two candidates alternating nice guy and hardball gambits.

Luckily, Christine Baranski does add a little spice as Hackmanâ€™s former first lady. Probably not a good thing that a movie centering on two guys features three womenâ€”Barranski, Marcia Gay Harden (a recent Oscar winner and current nominee slumming here), and Maura Tierneyâ€”that are a lot more interesting, but they are given little to do. The three are barely re-imagined clichÃ©s of bitch ex-wife, long-suffering assistant secretly in love with the boss, and longer-suffering girlfriend patiently awaiting a proposal from loveable lunkhead. And just when the clichÃ©-o-rama cannot get any worse, gals two and three get liquored up and commiserate. Although admittedly, few do this kind of role better than Baranski, it would be nice to see her get the kind of writing that her talent warrants. But you could probably extend that sentiment to the entire cast.

This is the sort of screenplay where everything clumsily dropped into the first half of the movie will have great import in the second and where the one small flaw in our hero will be successfully resolved by the endâ€”no matter how pat or illogical the ending. Each so-called plot twist predictably telegraphs its resolution and what should be a light, screwball comedy has a tedious and plodding quality. Perhaps this could all be forgiven if the ostensible comedy had been funnier, but there are few laughs sporadically distributed through the movie. Although Welcome to Mooseport does try to get some mileage out of the quaint small town characters, these attempts are handled so clumsily by screenwriters Doug Richardson and Tom Schulman that this becomes just one more failed element.

Director Donald Petrie (rarely more entertaining than his screenplay nor more engaging than his actors) need merely compare this movie with his last, Miss Congeniality, to notice the difference. By comparison, Welcome to Mooseport makes the previous movie look like Brining Up Baby.

–Bill Henry