Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat

Directed by Bo Welch

Opens nationwide 11/21/2003

Having grown up on the writings of Dr. Seuss, I may lack the necessary objectivity to properly judge cinematic adaptations of these beloved books, but this latest assault on the good doctor’s memory is one vile hairball. The first attempt at a blockbuster movie version, Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas, was a bloated mess providing back-story where none existed previously—simply to get the movie to feature length (“…now don’t ask me why; no one quite knows the reason.”).

But compared to the latest, Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat, Grinch was as good as its grosses. Simply put, Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat is a dreary mess. It is little more than a lame star vehicle for Mike Myers at his undisciplined worst and easily one of the most mean-spirited kids movies you will ever see—or, hopefully, not see.

Everyone knows the story. Two kids (Dakota Fanning and Spencer Breslin providing what little sparkle the movie has) are home alone in the rain and admonished by mom not to make a mess of the place. Introduce one very large and mischievous talking (and rhyming) cat complete with a red and white striped hat and a box of companions. He delivers them a day’s diversion they will never forget and a house messed to the limits of Seussian imagination.

What we get on the big screen is Mike Myers riffing along like an untalented version of Robin Williams (or more likely trying to do what Jim Carrey only semi-successfully delivered in Grinch) while leading the kids through a day’s adventuring. During this, Myers spends a great deal of time mouthing double entendres (this is the sort of movie that parent review guides caution their readers against) and channeling other comedians—most notably Bert Lahr and Charles Nelson Reilly (at least when Bugs Bunny does Groucho Marx he has the excuse of being someone else’s creation rather than a barely-talented refugee from Saturday Night Live).

Although I doubt I laughed more than five times during the interminable, padded 73 minutes (and those mostly at Fanning’s dead-pan delivery), the kids in the audience seemed to enjoy things. But I could not help but compare it to a recent experience at a similar advance screening for Looney Tunes: Back in Action. Lean with none of the dead areas afflicting this flatulent cat, the kids were enrapt throughout with plenty of chuckles from the parental contingent. At their best (and certainly the output from Pixar is the most consistent example), family films should be enjoyable for the whole family and not just someplace to dump the kids. If this is your standard, Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat fails.

Admittedly the movie is a triumph of art direction. While first time feature director Bo Welch is unable to rein in his star or establish any kind of any effective narrative, the former production designer/art director has beautifully captured the look of a Dr. Seuss book (although maybe not enough blue for The Cat in the Hat). This begins with animated Seussian versions of the Universal, DreamWorks and Imagine logos. Unfortunately, the filmmakers, their creativity now exhausted, still have another 72 minutes to go.

Myers gets out-acted by the kids. Fanning is already at 9 a more able screen comedienne while Myers seems to be aiming no higher than being only the second most annoying guy in movie history named Michael Myers. As the Austin Powers sequels, axe murderers, and cats in hats are too rarely interrupted by participation in really solid work such as his voicing of Shrek, Mike Myers seems perfectly satisfied churning out work well beneath what he has shown himself capable.

1.5 *

–Bill Henry

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